Reclaim Your Emotional Power
Do you ever catch yourself thinking, "He makes me so irritated," or "If she were different, my life would be so much easier"?
I hate to break it to you, but these are signs of being stuck in a victim mentality.
Whenever you assign responsibility for how you feel to someone else, you’re handing them the keys to your emotions. And because you believe they need to change for you to feel better, you do everything you can to control them.
We try to control others in subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways:
People-pleasing – hoping they’ll act how we want if we make them happy.
Persuading – trying to convince them that our way is best.
Guilt-tripping – making them feel bad so they’ll change.
Threatening – using ultimatums to get what we want.
But here’s the hard pill to swallow: you create your own emotions.
Emotions don’t come from what’s happening around you—they come from your thoughts about what’s happening. It’s the meaning you give a situation that affects how you feel.
A Personal Shift
I used to think my partner was annoying. I was convinced that if he just did what I suggested, we’d both be happy.
Turns out… he didn’t like being told how to live his life (I mean, who does?). And even when he did follow my advice, I’d quickly find something else to criticise.
Things only changed when I changed. Instead of focusing on what was wrong, I started noticing and appreciating the little things he did. And I told him.
Like, “Thank you for always asking if I want a coffee when you turn on the machine. That makes me feel cared for.”
The result? Win-win-win. A win for him, feeling appreciated. A win for me, focusing on what I loved instead of what annoyed me. And a win for our relationship, which felt more connected and positive.
You create your own emotional world with your thoughts.
If you want to feel better, you have to think better.
And it starts with recognising that change happens inside you—by choosing what you focus on:
🔹 What’s missing or what’s present?
🔹 Their flaws or their strengths?
🔹 What irritates you or what you appreciate?
Shift your focus, and you’ll shift your emotions.
That’s taking your power back.
