Unlock your innate power
SCARCITY VS ABUNDANCE
SCARCITY VS ABUNDANCE
SCARCITY - Feeling of lack.
Thinking it’s NOT ENOUGH
Finite resources
Focus on the unwanted
ABUNDANCE - The knowing that more can be created.
Resourceful with what you have
Infinite possibilities
Focus on wanted
CONNECTING WITH SELF
CONNECTING WITH SELF
I used to think life was best lived when focused on serving others. I thought a happy relationship was created by doing everything you possibly could for the other person.
So I twisted and tweaked myself in order to please my partner.
THE ROOT CAUSE OF YOUR IRRITATION AND STRESS
THE ROOT CAUSE OF YOUR IRRITATION AND STRESS
There are only 3 types of businesses in life:
• Mine
• Yours
• God’s or the Universe’s
My business, the way I live life, is my decisions and therefore MY responsibility.
Your business, the way you live life, is your decisions and therefore YOUR responsibility.
The Universe’s business are things that are outside of my control and your control such as war, traffic, weather or when it’s time for us to die.
When you focus on any business that is not your own, you create separation and therefore stress.
• Separation between you and you.
• Separation between you and others.
• Separation between reality and imagination.
Turn your focus to what’s in your responsibility and in your control: Your own business. Notice how your stress levels reduce as you bring your attention to how YOU live YOUR life and stop advising others how to live their lives.
#focus #focusonyourself #liveandletlive #success #personalgrowth
LIFE IS LIKE A MIRROR
LIFE IS LIKE A MIRROR
What you give is what you receive. In other words, what you send out is what you get back.
So the way you set your tuner or your receptor is by what you broadcast.
If you’re appreciating, then your tuner is set for that and you are more likely to be appreciated.
UNSTUCKING YOURSELF
UNSTUCKING YOURSELF
Your brain is constantly asking itself 3 questions as it interpreting its surroundings:
Am I SAFE?
Am I LOVED?
What can I LEARN?
In order to have access to the learning part of your brain, where creative thinking lives, you first need to feel both physically and socially safe.
Your main task in life is to feel good. When you are in a good place it’s easy for others to be around you, it’s easy for you to be around others and it’s easy for you to be around you.
When you feel good, ideas come easily to you. You feel inspired to take action. You see the fun in new activities. You dare to push boundaries. Your buffer is filled up and you have energy to take on challenges.
You feel good by focusing on what's wanted. Focusing on where you WANT TO GO, what you WANT TO CREATE and what you CAN DO with what you have right now to move in that direction.
Closing the gap between where you are and where you want to go is the only thing that brings satisfaction long term.
Keep it small, keep it light and playful.
What is ONE THING that you can do today that moves the bar one step?
#unstuckingyourself #stuck #feelingstuck
ROOT CAUSE TO MOST CONFLICTS
ROOT CAUSE TO MOST CONFLICTS
The one right way of living, MY way.
Do you ever have that thought? That you know how things “should” be done and if someone executes them differently, you make them wrong?
I can certainly relate to this myself.
Thinking I have figured it out, hence I’m correcting others, or according to myself I’m just giving them advice on how to best do it. But really I’m making their way wrong and doing everything I can to encourage them to follow my way.
Why?
Because we like to be right and we want others to agree with us that our way is the right way.
The issue here is that we don’t like people telling us what to do, we want to explore our own way ourselves. Therefore lecturing someone on the one right way of doing things usually leads to conflict.
Instead of being the teacher, can you take the role as a student. Get curious, be open minded, ask questions, you might learn something from the other person’s approach.
#student #conflicts #howtosolveconflicts #commnunication #personaldevelopment
HOW DO YOU SPEAK TO YOURSELF?
HOW DO YOU SPEEK TO YOURSELF?
When was the last time that you paid attention to your internal voice?
Is it harsh and judging or loving and compassionate?
We tend to believe that in order for us to be motivated to change we need to be strict with ourselves and call out everything we do wrong.
Using this strategy however usually results in feeling burnt out, deflated and exhausted.
Coming from a loving and compassionate viewpoint does not mean we agree to our situation and stop working on our goals.
But rather that we meet ourselves where we are at, instead of arguing with reality, thinking we should be further ahead that what we are.
Imagine you being the coach for a kids team in your sport of choice. How do you think the kids would feel after 3 months of the coach being angry, screaming at them and highlighting everything they did wrong?
Do you think that any of them would be excited to show up for practice?
I don’t think so.
Vs
A coach that highlights their progress and gives them clear directions on what to work on next. This will allow the kids to build up confidence that they are on the right path and a clear sense on where to put their focus to evolve to the next level.
This team will grow stronger, be eager to come to practice and will have fun along the way.
Being scared of making mistakes vs being excited to learn something new are two very different feelings.
Which one are you cultivating with the internal language that you use towards yourself?
#internallanguage #beyourbestfriend #coachyourselfwithlove
HAVE TO → CHOOSE TO
HAVE TO → CHOOSE TO
Did you know that you don't HAVE to do anything?
You don’t need to pick up your kids at kindergarden and you don’t need to pay your bills. But you can CHOOSE to do things because you don't like the consequences of not doing it.
Changing your internal language and being more causes with the words you use affects how you feel. When you use words like: CHOOSE to, WANT to or PREFER to your brain feels like it’s more in control instead of being forced to do something unwanted by someone else.
Recognise that you have a choice in life and utilise that choice in every action and decision you are making. This will change the way you are viewing the world and therefore your mood and energy levels.
Do you feel in control of your decisions or like life controls you?
#control #words #mindset
FEELING LONELY?
FEELING LONELY
The other day I caught myself feeling low. Work had slowed down and I was given more time than what I had in a long time.
I noticed an uncomfortable feeling of loneliness sneaking up on me.
Many of my clients and friends had notified me about being away and even though I love my own company, I felt like it was not chosen this day to just be with me.
It had me reflect on the past 3 months which have been non stop on the road. Travelling every weekend for 12 weeks. Extreme highs with the honeymoon, by best friends bachelorette and her wedding to mention a few.
While at home, in between travels, I squeezed in as many clients as possible, so had little time to slow things down.
It felt like I went from 100-0 real quick.
SUFFERING FROM PERFECTIONISM?
SUFFERING FROM PERFECTIONISM?
Perfectionism = Refusing to accept any standard below perfect.
I’m all for having high standards but I have become aware how much my perfectionism side holds me back from trying to do new things.
I want to master them right away, but mastery only comes from practice and refining. Which can only be taught by doing and daring to be a new beginner.
Maybe it’s not about lowering your standards, maybe it’s a mindset shift that needs to take place?
What is perfect anyway?
Rather than thinking it means: Doing something flawlessly.
Can your new definition be: Going after my dreams and being willing to suck at it in the beginning if that’s what it takes to achieve what I want?
I’m a perfectionist but I no longer strive for flawlessness. I strive to achieve bigger and bolder things. I strive to move closer to my dreams and I’m willing to fail and get up again as many times as it takes me to get there.
That to me is my new definition of perfection.
What’s yours?
#perfect #perfectionism #mastery #lifecoaching #personaldevelopment
FREE YOURSELF FROM YOUR PAST
FREE YOURSELF FROM YOUR PAST
Don’t hold it against yourself or use it to try to predict your future. When you do, you will just create more of the same. Repeat what you already have created so far. Your past has nothing to do with your future, useless you use it as a template for how to live your life.
If you have not yet created the results in your life that you want to create, stop using your past to justify and explain why you have not achieved them. Instead focus on what it is that you want to create.
Go to that appealing future that is available to you, no matter where you currently are on your journey. Create from your future rather than from your past, that’s when you can create something new.
This opens up endless possibilities.
Did you know that your brain is wired to wanting to be right more so than to be happy?
It’s also wired to be biassed toward negativity and worst case scenarios.
This is where self sabotage comes in. We look to our past to find proof or evidence as to why something will not work instead of looking towards the future and the infinite possibilities as to why it could work.
We then give up as soon as we have gathered enough proof that it did not work, so that we can be right. Instead of keep on trying different ways of approaching the challenge until we find a successful way through it.
Primitive part of the brain:
Negativity bias
Past focus
Loves to be right
Prefrontal cortex:
Solution oriented
Future focused
Loves to create
Which part of the brain are you activating the majority of your awake time?
#brainfunctions #primitivebrain #prefrontalcortex #mindoverbody
HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT
HOW TO GET TO WHAT YOU WANT
As you go through life you experience contrast. Contrast is of tremendous value as it helps you define your personal preferences.
When you know what you don’t want, you also more clearly know what it is that you want.
You expanded mentally, now you have a mental concept of how an improved version would look like.
In order to create satisfaction, you will need to start closing the gap between where you stand and that improved version.
You do so by keeping your eyes on that improved version, your preferred version, and take actions to move in that direction. Trying different things to see what works for you. Allowing yourself to fail forward. Learning by doing.
But most people continue to look at the contrast, at that which is not pleasing to them. Thinking it’s the contrast that needs to change.
What you focus on will grow and if you are focusing on the contrast, you will create more of it.
What is, is the enemy of more.
Learn to ignore what is and focus your full attention to what it is that you want to create.
#lifecoaching #personaldevelopment #expansion #change #experience #overcomingobstacles #overcomingchallenges
INVITE JOY
INVITE JOY
Invite joy and satisfaction to where you are now, rather than waiting to be happy when…
When I have a better body.
When I have a more loving relationship.
When I have a bigger paycheck.
The issue when you attach your happiness to a future moment is that “when” is constantly moving further into the future, because you continue to increase your capacity to ask for more and more.
Learning to be satisfied with what is AND eager to create more, that is the key to living happy ever after.
I used to be scared of accepting what is, thinking it would stay like it was forever. But what I realised was that once you accept it and find beauty in what is, the change to what you want will happen more rapidly than when you were pushing against it.
Joy is the key.
EXPANSION
EXPANSION
Contrast helps us know more clearly what it is that we want. It helps us define our personal preferences. First when you go after your preferred version of living life can you be satisfied.
It is all about closing the gap between where you are and where you want to be. And you do so by stopping looking at what is and instead investing your energy in creating the life you want to live by giving your attention to what you want.
Many times we feel stuck because we have a contrasting moment that helps us know what we don’t want, so we also know more clearly what we do want.
CONTRAST IS THE LAUNCHING PAD FOR MORE
CONTRAST IS THE LAUNCHING PAD FOR MORE
You are ever growing, ever evolving and ever becoming. You did not come here to follow someone else’s wishes for you. You came here to create.
Your choices are what makes YOU UNIQUE.
Contrast helps you define your personal preferences. When you know what you don’t want, you also more clearly know what you do want.
Celebrate the VALUE that contrast gives you.
ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU
ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU
This also means that you do not know what’s best for others. Only they know themselves.
This is something that I constantly have to remind myself about when it comes to my partner. Especially when it comes to diet and exercise. Since I have a lot of evidence that I have nailed this area down in my own life, I have a tendency to believe that he should follow the same recipe.
But what works for me might not work for him and even if it works he might not feel good doing it.
FREEDOM OF CHOICE
FREEDOM OF CHOICE
The first reason we are here, in my opinion, is our FREEDOM of choice.
Did you ever think: What’s the point? It has already been done by someone else.
There is enormous value in the freedom of choice. It's what makes us all unique. My preferences are different from yours. We have different experiences and will therefore create things differently.
Trust that you have a voice. Your message has never been said in your words. Your contribution to the world is valuable.
INTENTION TRIAD
INTENTION TRIAD
The motive to life, I believe, can be split into 3 segments:
Freedom
Expansion
Joy
FREEDOM
You are so free that you can choose bondage. Freedom of choice of how to live your life. Just like you love this freedom, so do the people around you including your partner (reminder to myself).
EXPANSION
Growth just happens. You can not stop learning and growing. With each experience you launch new rockets of desires based on the new found preference.
JOY
We are in for the fun of it - right? (For the fun of it... not just the money, the love, the fame...but for the fun of creating). It’s good to feel good, to have fun, to invite play. To be satisfied with what is and EAGER to create more.
ARE YOU FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS OR YOUR FEARS?
ARE YOU FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS OR YOUR FEARS?
We can end up being driven by fear as a result of a traumatic experience, unrealistic expectations or if we grow up in a highly controlled environment.
Fear makes us miss out on great opportunities because we are afraid to venture out. We play it safe, avoid risks and do our best to maintain the status quo.
Fear is a self-imposed prison that makes you play small which keeps you from being the full version of you. Fear is a push away from the unwanted instead of a pull towards the wanted.
For survival, fear has been a crucial feeling. However the things we are afraid of today are rarely life threatening.