Unlock your innate power
RECOGNISING GROWTH
I had an experience the other week that made me recognise how far I’ve come on my personal development journey.
Thursdays are our cleaning day. The cleaning lady had just finished wiping the floors and I was in the kitchen making her coffee.
I was dressed up ready to go for dinner and as I pressed down the lid of the French press the coffee sprayed like a volcano.
IT’S GOOD TO FEEL GOOD
IT’S GOOD TO FEEL GOOD
Isn’t it crazy that we sometimes need a reminder that it’s good to feel good. We think it needs to be hard or difficult, that we need to struggle in order to “deserve” worthiness.
Who came up with that? That it’s good to feel bad?
INCREASE YOUR CAPACITY TO FEEL YOUR DESIRED FEELING
In order to make your desired feeling your dominant feeling you need to build up your capacity to feel that emotion.
You do this by directing your mind to things that feel good when you focus on them.
SUFFERING FROM PERFECTIONISM?
SUFFERING FROM PERFECTIONISM?
Perfectionism = Refusing to accept any standard below perfect.
I’m all for having high standards but I have become aware how much my perfectionism side holds me back from trying to do new things.
I want to master them right away, but mastery only comes from practice and refining. Which can only be taught by doing and daring to be a new beginner.
Maybe it’s not about lowering your standards, maybe it’s a mindset shift that needs to take place?
What is perfect anyway?
Rather than thinking it means: Doing something flawlessly.
Can your new definition be: Going after my dreams and being willing to suck at it in the beginning if that’s what it takes to achieve what I want?
I’m a perfectionist but I no longer strive for flawlessness. I strive to achieve bigger and bolder things. I strive to move closer to my dreams and I’m willing to fail and get up again as many times as it takes me to get there.
That to me is my new definition of perfection.
What’s yours?
#perfect #perfectionism #mastery #lifecoaching #personaldevelopment
FREE YOURSELF FROM YOUR PAST
FREE YOURSELF FROM YOUR PAST
Don’t hold it against yourself or use it to try to predict your future. When you do, you will just create more of the same. Repeat what you already have created so far. Your past has nothing to do with your future, useless you use it as a template for how to live your life.
If you have not yet created the results in your life that you want to create, stop using your past to justify and explain why you have not achieved them. Instead focus on what it is that you want to create.
Go to that appealing future that is available to you, no matter where you currently are on your journey. Create from your future rather than from your past, that’s when you can create something new.
This opens up endless possibilities.
Did you know that your brain is wired to wanting to be right more so than to be happy?
It’s also wired to be biassed toward negativity and worst case scenarios.
This is where self sabotage comes in. We look to our past to find proof or evidence as to why something will not work instead of looking towards the future and the infinite possibilities as to why it could work.
We then give up as soon as we have gathered enough proof that it did not work, so that we can be right. Instead of keep on trying different ways of approaching the challenge until we find a successful way through it.
Primitive part of the brain:
Negativity bias
Past focus
Loves to be right
Prefrontal cortex:
Solution oriented
Future focused
Loves to create
Which part of the brain are you activating the majority of your awake time?
#brainfunctions #primitivebrain #prefrontalcortex #mindoverbody
HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT
HOW TO GET TO WHAT YOU WANT
As you go through life you experience contrast. Contrast is of tremendous value as it helps you define your personal preferences.
When you know what you don’t want, you also more clearly know what it is that you want.
You expanded mentally, now you have a mental concept of how an improved version would look like.
In order to create satisfaction, you will need to start closing the gap between where you stand and that improved version.
You do so by keeping your eyes on that improved version, your preferred version, and take actions to move in that direction. Trying different things to see what works for you. Allowing yourself to fail forward. Learning by doing.
But most people continue to look at the contrast, at that which is not pleasing to them. Thinking it’s the contrast that needs to change.
What you focus on will grow and if you are focusing on the contrast, you will create more of it.
What is, is the enemy of more.
Learn to ignore what is and focus your full attention to what it is that you want to create.
#lifecoaching #personaldevelopment #expansion #change #experience #overcomingobstacles #overcomingchallenges
INVITE JOY
INVITE JOY
Invite joy and satisfaction to where you are now, rather than waiting to be happy when…
When I have a better body.
When I have a more loving relationship.
When I have a bigger paycheck.
The issue when you attach your happiness to a future moment is that “when” is constantly moving further into the future, because you continue to increase your capacity to ask for more and more.
Learning to be satisfied with what is AND eager to create more, that is the key to living happy ever after.
I used to be scared of accepting what is, thinking it would stay like it was forever. But what I realised was that once you accept it and find beauty in what is, the change to what you want will happen more rapidly than when you were pushing against it.
Joy is the key.
EXPANSION
EXPANSION
Contrast helps us know more clearly what it is that we want. It helps us define our personal preferences. First when you go after your preferred version of living life can you be satisfied.
It is all about closing the gap between where you are and where you want to be. And you do so by stopping looking at what is and instead investing your energy in creating the life you want to live by giving your attention to what you want.
Many times we feel stuck because we have a contrasting moment that helps us know what we don’t want, so we also know more clearly what we do want.
CONTRAST IS THE LAUNCHING PAD FOR MORE
CONTRAST IS THE LAUNCHING PAD FOR MORE
You are ever growing, ever evolving and ever becoming. You did not come here to follow someone else’s wishes for you. You came here to create.
Your choices are what makes YOU UNIQUE.
Contrast helps you define your personal preferences. When you know what you don’t want, you also more clearly know what you do want.
Celebrate the VALUE that contrast gives you.
ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU
ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU
This also means that you do not know what’s best for others. Only they know themselves.
This is something that I constantly have to remind myself about when it comes to my partner. Especially when it comes to diet and exercise. Since I have a lot of evidence that I have nailed this area down in my own life, I have a tendency to believe that he should follow the same recipe.
But what works for me might not work for him and even if it works he might not feel good doing it.
FREEDOM OF CHOICE
FREEDOM OF CHOICE
The first reason we are here, in my opinion, is our FREEDOM of choice.
Did you ever think: What’s the point? It has already been done by someone else.
There is enormous value in the freedom of choice. It's what makes us all unique. My preferences are different from yours. We have different experiences and will therefore create things differently.
Trust that you have a voice. Your message has never been said in your words. Your contribution to the world is valuable.
INTENTION TRIAD
INTENTION TRIAD
The motive to life, I believe, can be split into 3 segments:
Freedom
Expansion
Joy
FREEDOM
You are so free that you can choose bondage. Freedom of choice of how to live your life. Just like you love this freedom, so do the people around you including your partner (reminder to myself).
EXPANSION
Growth just happens. You can not stop learning and growing. With each experience you launch new rockets of desires based on the new found preference.
JOY
We are in for the fun of it - right? (For the fun of it... not just the money, the love, the fame...but for the fun of creating). It’s good to feel good, to have fun, to invite play. To be satisfied with what is and EAGER to create more.
ANGER AND RESENTMENT
ANGER AND RESENTMENT
You notice if anger and resentments are your drivers if you hold on to hurts and never work to get over them. Instead of releasing your pain through forgiveness, you replay the mental movie of the event in your mind over and over again.
It shows up as an internal build up of resentment or as an external act out projecting your anger on others. Both responses are unhelpful and unhealthy.
Continuing to stew in pain and perpetuate any past hurt always hurts YOU more than the person you resent.
Those who have hurt you in the past can not continue to hurt you now UNLESS YOU hold onto the pain through resentment and reliving the memory of the past. Your bitterness only hurts yourself.
Forgiveness means LEAVING the past in the past. To not hold it against someone, including yourself.
That was then, now is now.
Life gets easier, lighter and fresher when you leave the past in the past. Free yourself from fixed expectations formed from the past. Stay open and curious to what this moment brings you.
Every moment offers an opportunity to be someone new, do something different and start fresh.
Are you taking it?
#Forgiveness #motivation #lifecoaching #personaldevelopment #anger #releasingthepast #past #future
GUILT AS YOUR DRIVER
You know that guilt is your driver when you try to run 🏃🏼♀️ away from regrets and hide from 🙈 your shame.
Manipulated by your memories. Allowing your past to control your future. Unconsciously punishing yourself by self-sabotaging opportunities for success.
Sure, you are a product of your past but you don’t have to be a prisoner of it.
Give yourself a FRESH START 🛫 and release yourself from the past by leaving it in the past. REWRITE your story.
SUCCESS STARTS WITH MANAGING YOUR MIND
Your THOUGHTS generate your FEELINGS which drive your ACTIONS which create your RESULT.
So if you don’t like the RESULT you produce, you first need to understand what THOUGHTS that creates it.
It’s called the Model of life:
Circumstance - always neutral
Thought - gives our circumstances a positive or negative meaning
Feeling - generated by our thoughts about our circumstance
Actions - driven by our emotions
Results - created from our actions or non actions
SURROUNDED BY MAGIC
Society is predominantly oriented towards what’s wrong. We criticise, focus on what we don’t like.
We predominantly worry instead of predominantly knowing that all is well.
What if you just for one day give more of your attention to what makes you feel good?
What if you made a conscious decision to look for what you want to see. Intentionally look for the magic in your everyday life:
Fresh air
Birds
Flowers
Someone returning a smile
LIFE MIRROR HOW YOU FEEL
How you feel will create a lens which you view the world through:
When you are in love, life presents loving things to you.
When you are irritated, all you see are annoying things.
When you are anxious, there are alarming things everywhere.
Your feelings send signals to your brain to hone in on things that match with how you feel. Now you have proof that justifies how you feel, which intensifies the feeling.
Your brain is more interested in being right, than being happy and will go on a hunt for whatever YOU ASK it to find.
